fear has no place here

How do you even start a post like this? I feel like every Christian blogger has made a post like this. About fear and anxiety and how to overcome it. And they are all really good posts and that’s why I just almost didn’t feel the need to write about it. I honestly don’t even feel equipped to write about this, because to be transparent with you I still struggle with fear and anxiety myself. Heck! There was a spider (not just any spider a brown recluse) in my room today and I called my mom crying about it. I am still very aware that fear is just one of those tactics that the enemy tries to use to bring me down. So I am going to tell you my story and my thoughts on this popular topic.

Anxiety had a grip of my life since I was 5 years old!! I went to therapy, I’ve been medicated for it, and it ended up leading me in a very depressed state. I know what it’s like to sit there with your knees to your chest crying, shakin, feeling sick to your stomach, and just frustrated because sometimes you don’t even know why you are so scared! It used to frustrate the crap out of me when I was having a panic attack and someone would ask me, ”well what’s wrong? what are you scared of.“ And sometimes you just don’t know. And I know what it feels like to lay in bed all day and not want to go outside because your scared you will have a panic attack. You become so isolated, that when people try to reach out to you, you say no because you don’t want to be a burden. And then all of a sudden your depressed and your anxious. Anxiety sucks dude, and coming from a christian putting a Jesus bandaid on it doesn’t work. We have started become so used to this temporary realization that is like, “Hey Gods got it don’t even worry about it.“ And we read a few bible verses about anxiety and we think it’s good. And I’m not saying these things are wrong. Reading the word and feeding your soul truth will help and it will produce good fruit. There’s just more to it and that’s what I’m learning. For a while I was like. “hey I’m saved I got Jesus in me everything’s fine.” But I never dug deep to see the root of the problem. If you have a splinter and you only take half of it out and then you put a bandaid on it and go on, its not going to heal properly right? The splinter will probably keep annoying you and get infected until you get the tweezers and maybe even shine a little light on it and get the entire splinter out. I personally believe I did that with fear and anxiety in my life. So how did I dig deeper and find the root you ask? First I asked myself what’s the opposite of fear?? FAITH!!! Cause ya gotta have faith! I looked at my life and I asked ”is there more fear than faith in my life?“ the answer was a big yes. I began to remind myself what faith is. In a short summary what I learned is, Faith is looking at the cross and what Jesus did on that cross and knowing that it is enough for me. And it covers EVERYTHING. The blood He shed and the pain He endured was to cover me in grace and mercy. If He died for me I think I should be able to trust Him with my ENTIRE life. Faith isn’t neededing to see the future God has already designed for me, it’s just knowing that it’s there and He hasn’t failed me yet. He is a good father and He takes care of His children.

After I realized that I needed to increase the amount of faith in my life and decrease the fear I realized that I was breaking Gods heart. When I was full of fear and anxious and just worried about the future, I was practically saying, “Hey, I know you created the universe and my entire being but I think I know a little more than you about my life so leave it up to me And let me worry about it.” And that just makes God sad. He wants to carry our burdens!! He wants us to rest at His feet. And it just breaks His heart we we think that we can do better than Him!

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22 ESV

After all of the realizations i came to and the light bulb moments it was time to celebrate and claim my victory!!!! (This was the best part) When you finally just break free from fear and you fully lay back in the arms of God I can’t describe it any better than after a really long day of school or work and just collapsing on your bed. That’s what it feels like!!!! And man you get to rejoice in that. You get to blast some worship music and have a dance party with Jesus. And tell the devil to freakin hit the road.

JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH!

Now go be fearless.

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